DISPATCHES FROM THE GHOST MOOSE

Rule 1 of public life.  Don't be photographed like Nancy Pigfacey.  She looks like she has just swallowed a live mouse. I meant to write of this before.....but... With all the changes going on in my world, I started taking an earlier train than before..the 6:53 vs the 7:11.  You get used to seeing the same folks at the same spot on the platform, and develop a nodding relationship with some of them.  I got to know a guy named Mark....we'd say hi each morning and talked on the days we took the 653 train...We usually took the same train home...and he'd get off the train and take off running to get to his car to beat the traffic out of the lot.  Two weeks ago, he told me he had 2 weeks to go to retirement...57 yrs old, and he got a package to leave.  I saw him a few times in that final 2 weeks...and his last day was this past Friday... and when the train pulled into the Arlington Park stop on his last ride home on his last day...he took off running like a ...

Remind me to buy my February train ticket tomorrow.  Now it is $200.  When I started working downtown in 1985 it cost $58.  Almost 4 times more now.  and I'm sure I am not making 4 times more than I was then.  Shame on me.  But, what can you do?  Gas, tolls....everything we need to get to work and pay more taxes is going up.  gotta pay those pensions. watched Oak Island (spoiler alert...nothing happened.  nothing at all).  Watched some of President Trump's SOTU.  Not bad...it's a president's chance to say how good they are doing, and that is what he did. and, I ate a half bag of gardetto's snack mix, and a half bag of potato chips.  and I feel like crap now.  I have to stop buying that junk. at any rate, I have about an hour before I turn in.  I wish I had giant teeth like Dana Perino.  She is hot, but looks like Matt Dillon in Something About Mary.   No one's teeth are that big.  Well, Mr. E...

I saw on the news that the founder of Ikea died.....before his burial, they had to assemble his coffin which had 1200 screws. I had to write lame joke before I forgot it.

back to work tomorrow.  Good to have somewhere to go to, as I have said (ad nauseum).  But true.  No matter what you read about the good economy, too many of my friends are at companies with uncertain futures. Had a nice morning hitting golf balls with 2 buds, then going out for breakfast.  I have been hitting a lot at the simulator at work, so I am ready for the season to start.  But we have at least 9 weeks until the grass is green and courses are open.   It is 6:55 pm, and golf is still on tv...sudden death.  That must be nerve wracking.  I wouldn't know...I once made par on 3 holes in a row, and I was nervous on the 4th hole, where, of course, I did not par.  so - have a good Sunday night, and a better Monday.  Because every day we have is the best day ever. If not, you aren't doing it right.

Didn't quite get as much done today as I thought I would.  But that is what tomorrow is for.  Or the next day.  or next weekend. There is a commercial that has been running regularly.  A woman says she told her husband she went shopping...and we see an aerial view of a truck pulling a trailer with a tree in it.  The husband is washing dishes and apparently sees the trailer pull up.  and he comes out, all teary, and asks "is that..." and the wife says yes.  The tree is not that big, but it has a heart and initials carved into it (never a good thing to do to a tree, by the way).  So - based on the size of the tree, did he carve the heart into it last week?   Where was the tree?  why was he so attached to a tree that was maybe 10 years old?  They are all out on the lawn, and a much bigger tree is there.I don't get it.  If anyone has an idea, let me know. and with that, I will end this lame post.  Have a good Saturday...

a month ago I was watching Hallmark Christmas movies in my brother's basement. and now I am watching tv in my apartment.  Wow...what a difference.  not really, but in 6 days, 2018 will be 1/12 elapsed.  The days are getting noticeably longer now.  about 6 weeks until the time change.  about 10 weeks until we tee off for the 2018 season.  and about 10 months until the start of next winter....perish the thought.  Much living to do between now and then. my work laptop keeps getting locked up and giving the "not responding" message.   so, no work was done tonight.   I did noodle a bit on my book draft, and sent an email to a designer I used to work with to see if he had any interest in illustrating.  Of course, if he charges me anyting, I will just use stick figures.  My words are that powerful.  Tomorrow is Friday.  Fridays used to be a big deal when I was a few decades younger.  Now, not so much.  But...

As I do every Tuesday night, watching the Oak Island show.  And, surprisingly so, nothing happening.  I am starting to think that those who watch it are fantisizing...not about finding a treasure.  No - fantisizing about living on an island in the ocean and digging for a treasure that is not there.  Since there seem to be no golf courses there, just acting like they are doing something constructive.  But really - they are doing less than nothing.  And isn't that what we all fantisize about?  Like a week long fishing trip to the wilderness. now excuse me.  I have to get back to the show, lest I miss something. I was going to work on my book tonight.  but in keeping with the Oak Island spirit, I will do nothing. late edit - I told my friend at work I had to get something checked at the doc.  And she asked if I would have the spot in my ear checked too...now, I had something burned out of my ear a few years ago...not a problem and I had...

I worked from home today.  Still getting things put away, etc.  ATT was here the last 3 days to install, then fix problems.  But all is up and running now.  The apartment looks pretty good.  Not very big, so should be easy to keep clean.  I will go back to taking the train downtown tomorrow.  I think I am about 10 minutes closer to the station than I was at my brother's house.  I was talking to a friend that was visiting on Sunday.  The idea of moving to Florida is appealing, especially in January.  But, leaving behind all the non-weather things, like friends, makes it a tough decision.  We had a good time Saturday watching the fights, and Sunday watching football.  Who knows...good to have options.  Maybe I will become a snowbird and be the reason the residents of Florida or Arizona complain.  I have to start driving for miles with my left turn signal blinking. The weather has warmed up - rain all day today....

Got moved into the apartment today.  I had movers, but I am still wiped out.  Back in the day, you'd ask the friend with a pickup or van to help, get a few other guys and move everything.  Not so much anymore - no one needs a back injury...and at our age, that is a relative certainty.  My brother helped me get all my stuff from the house, which was a big help.  and while the movers were moving me in, a friend stopped by with a bottle of my favorite spirits and a cigar.  Friends....can't beat them.  and so, the next chapter begins.  kind of like as a person gets very old and infirm, they revert back to childhood.  I am reverting back to 1978 when I first moved into an apartment.  Too tired to write much today.  my sharp wit is gone for the night.  and will be watching fights in a little while.  I will probably nod off before the main event.

Thursday night...almost time to call it a night (it's nearly 10 o'clock after all).  Tomorrow night I pick up the keys to the apartment, and I will move in on Saturday.  It was very nice to stay with my brother and his family since the shit hit the fan.  Now that things are progressing, it will be nice to have a place of my own that I can invite them over to.  As I have written, I give myself 12 months for the next move.  To a better climate, maybe...but until then, I won't look past tomorrow.  Life is too short to look past tomorrow.  and if you do, shame on you. I'll take the days you are looking past if you don't want them. A person I was doing business with got let go from their job.  This person was very good on my account, and the company that let her go will have issues servicing my account.  My job isn't to make a suppliers job easy. Actually, believe it or not, I can be difficult...I call it acting like a client .but I try not to d...

Back to work Tuesday.  But, it is good to have work to go to.  For now, anyway...one never knows. Spoke to my son yesterday.  He is in Washington DC for an internship.   Sounds excitinng.  I am going to try to visit him before he is done in April. As part of getting ready to move, I have come in contact with folks with utilities, insurance, cable, etc.  I have also connected/reconnected with friends in our normal cycle of contact.  It is not unusual for a friend or contact to share that they know exactly what I am going through...they have experienced the same types of relationship issues in their marriage and lacking the one big blowup, they remain married.  Like with most things, the seeds were sown long ago...just took 34 yrs to germinate.  I wonder if any of my friends or contacts will go the divorce route, or will they continue to march on in their twilight years.  Obviously, I hope it is the latter, but to hear people talk...

We are off for MLK day.  Nice to be off.  I stayed at the house last night, and moving to an apartment on Saturday.  I will miss being at my brother's house, but time to move to the next step in this new life.  It was nice to have a good place to stay while this was all sinking in.  After being married for 34 yrs, (10 more years than I was not married) it has been an adjustment.  But not an uncommon one.  Talking to friends who have been divorced de-mystifies it a bit.  And life goes on.  My boss resigned on Friday.  I have a meeting with the CEO this week.  That should be interesting.  I met up yesterday with a friend from my payroll days.  He is now knee deep in the annual w2 production.  I certainly don't miss that.  anyway - I have a bit more of this day off to enjoy.  and that I shall.

Saturday night, and all is quiet.  Met (one of the few) a reader of this blog who was kind enough to critique a draft of the book I am writing.  Had a good chat, and a nice breakfast.  I have to do that more.  Beats eating a banana in the car on the way to the train.  Made the annual trip to the fishing show.  We had booked the trip for 2018 already, so the show was a chance for the 4 of us to walk the aisles, have a few beers, and catch up.  The fishing show is one of those annual mileposts...it's always scheduled mid-January, about 4 months after our real trip.  We used to book the trip at the show, then 7 months later, we go.  We have been doing that routine for so long now.  The time from now til we are packing up at 2 am on July 20 will fly by.   Like it does every year.  And next year we will get the senior citizen rate at the fishing show.   Eek. That is a new one.

One more day and it's the weekend.  and we are off Monday. My friend at work recommended the movie "Brad's Status".  I watched it tonight.  A very middle aged looking Ben Stiller taking his son on a tour of colleges.  The son (Austin Abrams) reminded me very much of my own son. Brad has doubts about what he has accomplished in life, and that his high school friends have done much better than he has.   He ends up realizing that was not true.  Much more than that happened, of course, but that is the theme.  Very well acted.  I would imagine most people would see some of themselves in Stiller's character.  I look at linkedin, and see someone I once knew a few jobs ago is a SVP or CEO and feel like I've failed.....but the company they are at could be a dump (most are, and it could be because of them).  Some folks do hit it big by paying the price and good for them.  but the bottom line is that we are all successful.  Success...

January is a third elapsed...so, 2018 is 1/36 done.  Hard to believe, huh?  This weekend is the All Canada Fishing Show.  Me and the fishing crew go every year.  Seems like last month the 4 of us were up there on our annual trip...now its 4 months later already. We already booked this years trip, so we will just go, have a few beers and walk around and pick up some fishing literature we will never look at.  I have been doing this house hopping for 3 1/2 months.   that's about enough.  due to a number of factors, time to get a place of my own.   Mainly, I haven't worn out my welcome with my brother and his family.  Great folks...and that is how it should be...looked at a place, filled out the application.  they run a background check then I guess you move in.  We moved into our house about 19 yrs ago.  and now a move to a small apartment. I will have to post some pics when I move there in a few weeks.  I guess...

I guess I missed another day's post...and no one noticed....boo hoo. maybe because I was stricken with a horrible cold.  funny how you can go from feeling absolutely horrible to just somewhat horrible in a day.  I had dinner with a friend last night and had a double shot of Bookers straight up.  note to self....next time self medicate with Bookers early and often. Watching the Hawks game now, and Oak Island at 8.  less than nothing will happen on Oak Island because the go to France to research.  BUT THE TREASURE IS IN NOVA SCOTIA.  maybe stay there and dig.  but like the lemmings we are, we will watch. Still sitting in a upright position, but it's 7:42 and almost time to assuming a laying position on the couch.  I worked from home today, then took the afternoon off to rest.  I never felt like I had to rest before.  Rest used to mean getting home from the bar at midnight on a work night.  At 59, I now have to rest.  God th...

As we know, health is the most important thing we have.  Everything else, money, social status, possessions, is secondary.  Yesterday evening, I started coming down with terrible cold.  Now I know a cold is pretty far down when it comes to health problems, and is temporary, but I feel beyond rotten.  Everything hurts....eyes feel like sandpaper.  don't feel like eating (not such a bad thing).  In a couple days, this will pass, and I will be able to complain about things other than having a cold.  but until then, I will sit around and mope.  Maybe if I watch golf from Hawaii that will brighten me up.  anyway, back to work tomorrow.  supposed to be lousy weather - rain/snow.  the severe cold is gone, but winter is still here.  even nice winter weather sucks.  I really have to work on moving to a warmer climate.  what an uninteresting post this  is today.  I have given a draft of my book to a number of folk...

Finally Friday.  Fridays and weekends don't really excite me these days.  It's nice to not get up at 5 and take the train downtown, but for now, I don't feel like taking advantage of the time off.  When I am at work, it is the same as any other day. You leave the house at 6:30, get home at 6, and all is the same.  stability....no change....no unsettled feeling. These days, my home moves every few weeks.   Now, that shouldn't keep me from going out to a bar, working out,  or going to a movie...but for some reason I am too lazy or too disinterested to take the bold step of actually doing something.  Plus, the sub-zero temperature does not provide any excitement for leaving the house.   Whichever house I am in at that time.  But, in the near future, a few elements of this divorce situation will be resolved and I will be at the next step.  Toward what, I do not know.  At a minimum, we will be a few weeks closer to spring....

I am sick of winter, and we have quite a bit of winter yet to enjoy.  Happens every year.  And one of these years I hope to spend a winter in a warm climate.  No reason I can't, so like so many other things, it is up to me.  I had dinner with my son tonight.  It was good to see him and talk.  I was impressed by his questions, not prying but legit.  The conversation was somewhat guarded, but it was a first step.  I hope there are more steps in the future.  Relationships between a parent and their children are the collateral damage of the divorce.  You would expect a certain amount of acrimony between the divorcing couple, but when the kids pile on or take sides, it is a bit too much.  When the kids are older, their opinions are stronger as is the emotion.  But, that is how it is.  I suppose it is a process that some of us will work through, and others may choose not to.  Life is too short to carry anger and hurt....

I was watching the Hawks game when my brother comes down (to my lair) and has a sandwich cut in half and says "here, half is for you". Now, contrast that to the nastiness we face so regularly, and are used to.  nasty phone calls...nasty calls for the value of your assets.  nastiness... all of this nastiness can be covered over like a turd in a litter box by a brother offering you half a sandwich.  each shitty interaction you have with a shitty person is covered over by half sandwich. therein lies your lesson for Jan 3, 2018, the year of our Lord. You are welcome.

I missed posting yesterday.  Possibly because it was God awful cold, or maybe I had absolutely nothing to say.  or both. winter doldrums setting in.  I couldn't take a walk at lunch yesterday, and that is my usual routine.  I have to get back to the health club - after 11 days in a row, I can miss more than a couple days.  Besides Carrie Underwood letting us all know she looks different after getting 40 stitches in her face, not much in the news.  so with that, I will get to work. 

First post of the year.  I really have nothing to say, but only fitting that I write something on the first day of 2018....and I hope to write on the last day of 2018.  God Willing. Watching football.  Work tomorrow.  I don't feel too bad about going back to work - that has been my anchor.  My stability.  Of course, with things going on at work, that could change too.  eek.   Whatever - 2018 will be a good year.  because I, and you, will make it a good year.  no other  way to look at it.  I have a few projects I am working, and one of them will be the one.  and if not, one of the other ones I haven't started yet.  take a step back and realize what you have.  we are all far richer than what we think.  the things that bother us today are just chicken shit.  make your own luck, and make it often. I read the draft of the book I am writing and if I took the advice I offer in the book, my life woul...